Dear Hillary,
Please stop calling me. I already voted. And it wasn't for you. I was never going to vote for you. Trust me, more phone calls would not have changed my mind.
I find it interesting that although I have never given you money or in any way supported your campaign, you just keep calling me. My cell phone, no less. I bought campaign merchandise from John. But he hasn't bugged me early in the morning and during work and during dinner and when I'm getting ready for bed. Maybe that is because he loves me back.
I donated money to Barack and hosted a fundraiser for him, but he hasn't called me either. I get the emails I signed up for from him, but not a single phone call. I expected to get phone calls from Barack, because I listed my number on countless forms, but, yet, he was considerate enough not to bother me.
Maybe if I had given you money, you would be satisfied and would leave me alone, but I doubt it since I know supporters of yours who are getting calls too.
I would be more understanding if you had only called once, or even twice. I wouldn't mind so much if your automated calling program at least waited for my voicemail to answer before it started talking about the weather, so that when I listened to it I would know right away that it was you. And it's not cute for you to joke about the weather. My socks are wet; I know it's raining. Please, just stop calling me. Considering the polls close soon, maybe my plea is too late. But you just called me 15 minutes ago, and you called me an hour and twenty-five minutes ago, and you called me at 9am today, so you might not have gotten it completely out of your system yet. And you called me twice yesterday, and twice the day before, and just once the day before that, but twice the day before that. Please stop. If you do get the nomination somehow, this behavior in the fall is highly discouraged.
Very truly yours,
LvL
P.S. Could you please ask Ted to stop calling me, too?