Law v. Life: Flying high

I am preparing for another big trial, and, although it is a little overwhelming, it really reinvigorates me. I always knew that being a litigator meant lots of peaks and valleys, but for some reason I thought that just applied to the time/work demands. I didn't foresee how it would also be an emotional roller coaster. How my job and life satisfaction would go up and down with my caseload. And how quickly my perception would change. And change again.

It's amazing how accurate the roller coaster analogy is. People use it sometimes for life or love, but in my experience neither one shifts so rapidly and extremely. Unless you are bipolar (as I have witnessed) or in a really destructive relationship (as I have lived to an extent). But litigation is just up and down and up and down and you never know what to expect and it is exciting and then boring and then too fast to handle and all over the place. It feels like everything is out of control but it is still exhilarating and you want to do it over and over again and you want bigger and bigger thrills.

Can you tell that right now I am really happy to be a lawyer? And at this point in my career, all I get to do for big cases is the motions, but I still get all worked up trying to exclude an expert or win some procedural issue. Oh, and when I get some ridiculous motion (or notice of appeal!) filed by the other side, I love the way it makes my heart start to race. I feel my jaw clench and my eyes narrow, but at the same time I can't stop grinning. I love it. I guess the ups and downs are why some people don't want to litigate or don't do it for long. But I would guess for those people it is more that they don't like the highs. I feel like a drug addict saying I just want to be high all the time. I think I just need more practice managing the emotional toll and other outlets so my intensity level can remain more consistently high.